What Happens When You Start Reflecting at the End of the Day?
“At the end of the day, the day gotta end.” Thank you GloRilla for the perfect reminder.
When the day ends, there is no better feeling than to sit down, scan through your daily actions, and see if they reflect your pillars. So, what are life pillars? Think of the core areas in your life that give you the experience of feeling whole. They are fundamentals that reflect a fulfilling life and retirement: health, family, purpose, finances, and impact.
Often times, we catch ourselves completing our goals or tasks but still feel depleted at the end of the day. Sometimes it's not just about whether you did the things that matter, it's about reflecting to see if the actions you take actually align with your pillars.
So what is the importance of pillars, and why do we need them?
Why We Feel Depleted in a Distracted World
In this day and age, with social media demanding our attention every second of the hour, it's easy to get distracted. We easily get steered in the direction of the media telling us what we should have, today’s new looks and celebrities perfume favs, to someone telling you how they made millions of dollars. Because the education in our media has expanded, there are more opportunities, resources, and knowledge out there.
This constant exposure from our devices triggers what psychology calls Social Comparison Theory, where we subconsciously measure our own worth against the curated highlights of everyone else. Studies show this endless upward comparison directly drains our emotional energy and leaves us feeling inadequate.
But not all resources are useful if you don't have a sound purpose. Not every millionaire hack aligns with what you see for yourself. Not every fashion choice or skincare hack reflects your style or needs, and the more we consume, we subconsciously think it's needed.
Using Your Signature Strengths
As author and pioneering psychologist Martin Seligman, widely recognized in the scientific community as the founding father of positive psychology, explains: "The good life consists in deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living."
Pillars help us reflect at the end of the day by evaluating our alignment to our inner compass. They focus on our lifestyle, our personal values, and our vision, not what someone else is doing on TikTok. It helps us avoid the annoyance of people's expectations of us, or family members telling us what we should do or what they see for our lives. It's about giving yourself what you need, finding the beauty and source from life, and making it your playground to explore what makes you satisfied instead of relying on external factors to make you fulfilled.
Putting Pillars into Practice
Having 3 to 6 pillars is a great start; more than that may feel like you're all over the place. Remember, this is a practice you will use at the end of the day to reflect. You will gather your pillars, write them in a journal, and see how you were a better you than yesterday. The comparison is you versus you.
Pillars are our anchor. My 6 pillars are Create, Wellness, Connect, Align, Reflect, and Devotion. Here is a deeper look at 3 of them:
Create: For me to feel fulfilled and internally happy at the end of the day, I have to create in some way. Creating is my contribution to the world. Whether it's a blog post, a social media post, or designing a pin for Pinterest, even if I do not release it right away.
Wellness: The majority of the time, I am on the computer, and it's easy to get wrapped up in projects and not move my body. Even if it's just a 15 or 30 minute walk, I pause. Depending on the weather, I will go outside for fresh air, or I will jam to my walking YouTube videos. I also make it a priority to drink water and stay hydrated, whether I feel thirsty or not.
Connect: Genuine connection is essential to our well-being, especially with today's loneliness epidemic. Nurturing our village is both an internal and external practice, as the people we hold space for reflect back our own growth and help ground us in who we really are. Since moving to Arkansas, I rarely get to see my close friends in person. So, I make it a point to send a quick text, share a funny meme, or FaceTime just to catch up. Taking the time for these small moments makes a profound difference in keeping my relationships strong and ensuring I stay deeply connected to the people who matter most.
How to Build Your Own Life Pillars Tonight
Things to think about when creating your own:
Knowing the day is going to end, what are 3 things you can do that will make you feel appreciative? Think about how this causes a ripple effect in other areas of your life. For example: I drink water = I stay hydrated = I have more brain energy to write my blog post = Wellness.
What are things I am pushing off that I know would make me smile if I were consistent in that area? How will this shape the experiences in my day ahead? And where can I start? A lot of times, we know what we have to do, but we jump ahead of ourselves and then create a barrier from an imaginary high pedestal we place ourselves on.
The question honestly is: if tomorrow were your last day, and you knew it, what would you do for this day? What needs to get out? Who would you need to call? What would you need to experience?
Reflect on the daily experience you want to have. Drop a comment or shoot me an email: what are your 3 pillars?
