There’s Beauty in Your Days, Here's How to Spot it
How many nights this week, you recall flopping into bed thinking “today was the same ole same ole?”
Well, sis, the device that's right beside you right now may be playing a part in this mindset.
Manoush Zomorodi, host of the WNYC podcast New Tech City, stated that studies have shown that smartphones impinge on our ability to do "autobiographical planning" or goal setting, which may keep us even more stuck in a rut.
There are enormous health benefits in taking breaks from technology (phones, tablets, computers, and television), with one major impact being stress reduction (we’ll dig deeper in another blog post). To feel the positive attributes, it’s suggested to break/ unplug at least twice a year intensely. So what about the time in between?
When we check our phones constantly and see highlights, flashy moments of others' lives, we fall into a state of self-doubt, dissatisfaction, and desperation. If this happens by default, what’s the best way to approach our relationship with our devices?
Before you read further, know this isn't a blog post convincing you to uninstall all your apps and pledge to never go on social; just like anything else, the right balance is necessary to obtain a good relationship with your celly.
We see the excursions and select foods from our friend's vacation to the Caribbean and think, wow, how can I ever afford that.
Because damn it, I'm ready to live my best life and twerk on the beach in Puerto Rico.
Let’s go a tab bit deeper, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s one thing to feel inspired by others' perspectives and use that motivation to make changes in your life, and it’s another to place others on a high pedestal. Instead of highlighting your own abilities and skill set that makes you stand out, you’re left feeling chronically inferior or even depressed.
The keyword here is highlight reels.
Before I share an activity that can reverse the negative feelings of comparison, I want to mention some indicators of how you’re falling into the comparison trap.
You’re always checking for updates to social media accounts of public figures, associates, or friends.
You place an excessive amount of value in what others think, feel, and say about you.
When around others, you go into this dark feedback loop and say things such as... “Wow, I'm not as smart or attractive as I thought," and then beat yourself up for having that thought.
Constantly changing your definition of success and happiness based on what others showcase.
So how can you gain your power back and feel grounded and satisfied with your day-to-day actions?
For starters, blocking folks you compare yourself with won't help you see yourself in a better light. It's an internal process that only you can participate in.
ACTIVITY:
This activity can be done every evening to increase excitement for life, showing gratitude, honesty, and respect towards your daily decision-making skills while building momentum, will surely do just that… (yes, even including those basic activities we do that bring us consistency and flow.)
Grab your journal now; it's time to learn how to incorporate self-reflection into your evening ritual. Let's get started.
Below are 5 powerful PM questions you can ask yourself before you rest through the night to grace another day.
What did I learn from _______ Situation/Experience/Interaction, and how will it determine how I move starting tomorrow morning?
Why did I respond towards ____ News Situation/Person/Location/Animal/Event? Did my response align with my values? How so? If not, what would it take for me to respond differently?
Did I take actionable steps today that will align with the person I said I want to be?
Why did ______ bother me so much? Was this a reflection of a situation I've been ignoring?
What ideas did I have today about myself, others, and my environment?
Here are some tips to get the best out of your PM reflection:
Set the scene: Design your space to be calm. Tap into aromatherapy or have a cup of relaxing tea while journaling.
Give yourself some TLC: Patience is necessary. Self-reflection isn't easy; this is a brave act. So take your time, sis, no need to rush.
Remember this: you can only control what you can control.
Actually, read it out loud!
Find a reflection accountability partner, and journal with someone you trust.
If you learned something new and found this to be helpful, stick around for the next article.
