Feeling Off? Use This.
Vol. 1, Issue 1
Have you ever had one of those days where something just feels off, but you can’t quite explain why? Maybe it's the sudden dip in energy, a wave of irritability, or complicated emotions that showed up out of nowhere. Been there, no shame. This kind of energy just doesn’t stay in your head. It walks into the room with you, like strong perfume you didn’t realize you sprayed too much of.
Hold up, you're not messy. You're human. These moments of emotional sneak attacks sometimes happen when we haven't grounded ourselves or set intentions for the day. Stress barges in and hijacks our emotional state, leading us to act out of character. You know what I mean: side-eying loved ones, hitting “sent” on a spicy email to a co-worker that didn’t need to go that hard, or just feeling off our A-game.
In those moments, your intentions and the impact you leave behind don't align. While your intentions matter, it's the impact that people remember. Of course, you didn't mean to cause harm; you're not that type of Queen. But stress and lack of self-awareness have a funny way of throwing your energy off.
Here’s the glow-up moment: A simple self-care check-in can help you own how you show up by shifting your mindset. Life already throws us unexpected curveballs, and we don't need to add unnecessary drama to the script. Being in tune with your emotions isn't just about protecting your peace (although that's a top priority). It's also about preserving your relationships with co-workers, family, and, yes, even that Boss who works your last nerve.
Because when you're self-aware and intentional? You just don’t walk in the room, you own it, like the queen that you are.
Why Is a Self-Care Check-In So Important
This check-in isn't just a "feel-good" activity. It's self-love in action. Checking in with yourself is how you take charge of your emotional world and give your body and mind a reset before stress takes the wheel. Stress impacts your emotions—and your body knows it. That tension in your shoulders or knot in your neck? That's your body waving a big red flag, stress alert. Regular self-care check-ins can reduce stress and anxiety, giving you the space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
Mindfulness, backed by countless studies, helps you regulate emotions and make better decisions. As the Greater Good Science Center puts it, "mindfulness enhances the ability to observe our impulses without acting on them, giving us the space to choose a more thoughtful response.”
Translation: You don't need to let stress push you into reactive mode (hello, clap back energy). By making these check-ins part of your daily routine, you're breaking the cycle of being overwhelmed. Instead of beating yourself up with a "get your ish together, girl" mindset, you'll approach yourself with compassion, leading to more peace, less guilt, and a whole lot of self-respect.
Take a Deep Breath, Literally.
When you're rushing through meetings, juggling deadlines, and managing everyone else's needs, it's easy to feel drained. That pressure builds until you're mentally and emotionally tapped out.
Let’s be real: you might not always have time for a full 25-minute meditation. But you do have time for a few intentional breaths.
Try box breathing. A whole reset under a minute.
Breathe in for a count of four
Hold your breath for four counts
Exhale for four counts
Hold for another four counts
Repeat a few times
Why it works? Deep breathing helps calm your nervous system, lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), and shifts your body from fight-or-flight mode so you can feel grounded, present, and in your power again. Even just a few deep breaths can bring clarity back to your day and remind you that you’re the one driving.
Has someone crossed a boundary
Did I say "yes" when I wanted to say no?
How did this boundary crossing make me feel?
Remember: Being direct and transparent with your boundaries doesn't make you mean; it reflects self-respect.
Your daily self-talk shapes your decision-making, emotions, and overall mindset. Our brains are wired for confirmation bias; they seek evidence to support the beliefs we hold dearly about ourselves. If you perceive yourself as confident, graceful, and powerful, your brain naturally highlights experiences and cues that validate that belief.
On the other hand, if you view yourself as unworthy or insecure, your brain will find proof to reinforce that narrative as well. This is why it's essential to be intentional about how you speak to yourself. Your mind should be on your team, not a hater. Befriending your mind starts with boldly challenging your limiting beliefs and replacing self-doubt with compassion and empowering thoughts. I like to think of it as polishing your mirror daily, clearing away the distortions of fear, doubt, and negativity to see yourself as the Queen you truly are.
When you polish your mirror, you create space to treat yourself with kindness and respect. Over time, when working towards confronting those limiting beliefs, they will begin to fade, allowing you to align with your true, unshakable power. When I ask myself how my self-talk is in the middle of going through a setback or facing a temporary challenge or minor circumstance, I find it helpful to acknowledge my feelings rather than participate in toxic positivity behavior. I recognize and say to myself, without harsh judgment, you know what? It is a challenging moment, but I am bigger and tougher than this, and I am learning and growing from this moment.
Reminder: Self-Care Isn't Selfish
As you navigate your busy life between work and balancing friendship and family, I encourage you to take a moment to breathe and implement this self-care check-in daily. This practice has helped me meet my needs with a curious and compassionate approach. Self-care isn't just about bubble baths and skincare (though those are cute too). It's listening to yourself, asking what you need, and providing those solutions with love and intention. The relationship you build with yourself is the foundation for all the personal connections in your life.
Ready to make self-care a lifestyle? Join the waitlist for my luxe weekly love notes packed with inspiring tips, self-love inspo, and real talk to help you show up like the Queen that you are. Oh, and there's a free gift waiting for you, just for signing up.
